July 12, 2005

My husband is a musician, and over the fifteen years I’ve known him, he’s been in several cover bands in which he’s played regularly or in one-off gigs, or any combination of the two.

Last Saturday night was one such “one-off” gig, in which he performed with a band known as Mass Confusion. (The band is more than aptly named, because it is composed of several members of a Catholic church choir and because they are not the least bit organized.)

The band was providing the music for a wedding reception at an affluent country club, and I arrived with the “roadie” vehicle about forty minutes after they were supposed to be finished playing–because I am an experienced band wife, I knew that there was about a snowball’s chance that they would actually be finishing on time.

Right again.

Anyway, having arrived only halfway through their last set, I was able to sit and observe the partygoers. Since I didn’t know anyone but the members of the band, and knew nothing about the bride and groom, I was able to watch without any preconceived notions.

I felt sorry for the bride.

She was young and attractive and trying really hard to have a good time–but for the majority of the songs I observed, her only dance partner; indeed, the only other person on the dance floor with her (other than two little children) was her father. The rest of the attendees were either sitting way in the back of the room, or clustered near the edge of the dance floor.

Usually, the bride is surrounded by family and friends for the whole reception.

Usually, the groom is somewhere in the vicinity of the bride.

I couldn’t find the groom until the very last song of the set, when the band announced that it was for the bride and groom, and the bride had to call her new husband over to join her for a dance.

He was about twenty years older than she was, and he looked bored with the whole situation. Later on, after the music was over and I was helping to carry mike stands to the van (am I a great wife or what?), I saw the groom walking out to a vehicle in the parking lot with someone who looked like a buddy.

Leaving the bride alone in the reception hall. Literally. When I came back in to get something else, she was looking for him and everyone else had gone.

I don’t supposed you can judge a marriage on its wedding reception, but still…I do wonder how this bodes for their future.