Protecting your children

My article at the Wet Noodle Posse ezine is up for the month of March. Here’s a preview of the other pieces in this issue (courtesy of Kiki Clark, as usual!):

Okay, who doesn’t want to see pictures of baby kangaroos and koalas? Anyone? No. That’s why this month’s SuperHeroine column is about Rosemary Duffield, rehabilitator of adorable critters in Australia. Written by Rosemary’s daughter and our own Noodler, Trish Morey, this article will have you baby-talking to your monitor in two seconds flat.

Speaking of pictures, one look at Mary Fechter’s photos of NIOSA (Night in Old San Antonio) will drop your jaw and have you on the phone reserving flights to Texas. Spring in San Antonio means oyster bakes, the Battle of the Flowers parade, torch-lit marching bands in the Fiesta F lambeau, and yes, food on a stick. But antichuchos are a far cry from corndogs, amigos. Get on down there.

“Don’t talk to strangers.” That may be all our mothers and fathers told us about avoiding trouble in the big, bad world, but that piece of advice is actually counterproductive. Colleen Gleason describes the real conversation you need to have with your children to keep them safe, along with actions and signals that head off trouble before it starts.

Arguing with your significant other is unavoidable, unless both of you have had frontal lobotomies (and have duct tape over your mouths). But if you start out with a valid complaint and end up apologizing, something is very wrong. Dr. Debra tells you how to recognize and deal with that most slippery of men, the Twister.

There are very few girly things that can’t be improved by sticking a ribbon rose on them: a shower present, the front of a dress, a flower girl’s noggin. And it turns out ribbon roses are easy to make! Delle Jacobs gives you step-by-step instructions, bunches of tips, and bonus pictures of her kitty, Jinx.

When Sean Connery or Ewan McGregor says, “Och, lassie, I’m that famished. Could we no have some skirlied potatoes tonight before makin’ mad, passionate luve?” - you want to have that recipe handy. Enter Sandy Blair, writer of Highland romances and cooker of the aforementioned potatoes, plus Beef & Bacon Pie and Plum Pudding with Whiskey Sauce. You’ll be sprawled on the heather in no time.

Jenna Ness wants you to look your best, and she will make it happen with Ten Tips for going from Frump City to Hot Mama. Do these tips require a membership to the gym? A new diet? A billion bucks? They do not. If you aren’t amazed by these tips, we will return your frumpiness at no charge.

Tragically, Priscilla Kissinger was born without a frump gene, and will never know the joy of bad hair. March’s Noodler of the Month can often be found singing onstage in her local community theater, when she’s not screaming her lungs out at a Cubs game. Get to know this fun writer and mom.

Writers talk about their muse a lot. Sometimes in a happy way (”My muse struck yesterday and I wrote twenty pages!”) and sometimes in a frustrated way (”I looked for my muse in a quart of Haagen Dazs, but she wasn’t there.”) Maureen Hardegree found that the key to finding your muse is to listen. When she did, her muse turned out to be hairier than most, and had a southern accent. It’s her husband. Find your muse with a little help from The Writer’s Life.

Hey, Batter, Batter, Batter!!! Our Top Ten Faves this month are sports. Astonishingly, given the fact that we are writers, there are some gung-ho athletes in the Posse, especially when it comes to tennis and martial arts. Bowling also gets a look in, for some interesting reasons.

WetNoodlePosse.com – Be good to yourself, or else.

Cue the woo-woo music

A year ago when I was writing The Rest Falls Away, I decided to make a collage about the book.

Since at that time, I was one of those people who wrote by the seat of her pants (amazing how a contract offer and a deadline can change that!), I never really knew what was going to happen until I sat down to write. Literally. So, creating a collage was a way to help flesh out characters and plots, and a way to give my muse a kick in the patootie.

Jennifer Crusie, one of my favorite authors and a fantastic mentor for new writers, has often said she believes that storytellers have every single story locked away somewhere in his or her subconscious: every detail, every character, scene, etc., packed away somewhere in our brains, just ready to be discovered. She creates collages to help unlock that subconscious knowledge, and I took a page from her book and decided to try it.

So, a year ago, I made this collage.

So here’s where the woo-woo music comes in.

I made the collage, finished the book, hung the collage on my office wall (where it still is) and stopped looking at it. Sold the book. Wrote the synopsis for the second book in the series, which of course continues with the same characters in the first book.

I’ve pretty much just glanced at the collage during this process; not really looked at it (except when I needed inspiration for a particular character, then I would gaze at the guy in the upper left hand corner…)

Anyway, so here I am, more than two-thirds of the way through the second book. And the topic of collages comes up on the Wet Noodle Posse loop, where I hang out much too often each day. So I decide to post mine (as the others are doing), and lo and behold, I take a really good look at it.

And I notice, for the first time since I made the collage, a small image that I pasted on there. Not for any particular reason that I remember. And as I look at it, I realize that that image belongs in the scene I was in the middle of writing at that very moment.

Apparently, my subconscious had been unlocked a year ago, and I just realized it.

Isn’t the creative mind a wonderful thing?

Writers have sadistic tendencies

And I’m no exception. A good writing day for me is on a day when I’ve tortured my hero non-stop, and he slinks off at the end of the scene to manfully suck it up and go onto the next round.

I love it!

The first time I gleefully told my husband that I had tortured my hero, he looked at me and said, “Did you kill him or just maim him?”

No, no, no! Not that kind of torture! The mental anguish. The words that slice like a sword. The heart-rending decisions. All buried under a brooding or emotionless exterior. (Is it any wonder I adore The Phantom of the Opera?)

And there are so many ways to do it. I’m in the process of tearing apart not one but two characters in my current novel, and it’s oh so fun to alternate, and to have them torture each other without even knowing it.

Not only do I love to write heroes that are mercilessly tortured, but, unsurprisingly, I like to read and watch them too. Of course, Gerard Butler was a wonderfully angst-ridden Phantom.

And one of my favorite Harrison Ford roles was as Dr. Richard Kimball in The Fugitive. Talk about angst! Being tried and convicted of murdering his wife while he was in the process of grieving for her….shiver.

As for books, many of the ones on my keeper shelf that I read over and over have guys that are really put through the wringer.

One of my favorites, Alinor, the second book in the Roselynde Chronicles by Roberta Gellis, is going to be re-released in May. Ian is one of my all-time favorite heroes: he’s dark, handsome, and madly in love with Alinor, but can’t show it. The scene near the beginning where he goes “berserker” when she is kidnapped….one of my favorites!

Another old, old read is Once in a Blue Moon by Penelope Williamson. I haven’t read it in ages, and it’s out of print, but I remember it being highly enjoyable because the poor hero suffered throughout, watching the woman he loved plan marry another.

And then there’s Vows, by LaVyrle Spencer. Another favorite, with a great love triangle in which you truly feel for each of the three main characters. Even the odd man out, the one who doesn’t end up with the heroine at the end, is a thoroughly good guy. The book was written in the ’80s when “friends and family” sequels weren’t as popular as they are now, otherwise I’m sure LaVyrle, who has since retired from writing, would have written his story.

And then there’s my all-time favorite tortured hero. John Tregarth, aka John Smythe, in Night Train to Memphis by Elizabeth Peters. Since it is told in first-person, from Vicky’s point of view, you don’t learn exactly how much pain John’s in until halfway through the book. And then part of the pleasure is going back and re-reading that beginning, so you can catch all of the little hints and subtleties that Peters puts in there. The book’s not a romance; it’s shelved in the mystery section, but it’s so much more romantic than many of the in-your-face books I’ve read. It’s the perfect example of less is more.

So, who are some of your favorite tortured heroes in book, film or television?

Unique Valentine’s Day Gift?

What do you get your honey for Valentine’s Day? Roses? Wine? Diamonds? Dinner at a fancy place? Forget it!

In China, the new trend is apparently matching plastic surgery. Yes, you read that right. As reported by the Shanghai bureau of the AFP, plastic surgeons are offering two-for-one deals for nips and tucks!

Just think…you and your sweetheart can stare across that candlelit table at a mirror image of your nose! Or chin!

And I suppose at some point, these couples with identical facial features might actually pro-create. We may be looking at family plans sometime in the future too, ’cause Junior won’t want to be the only member of the family with an odd-looking nose, now will he?

As for me? Well, I’d settle for this….

For all those who thought Christine should have stayed with the Phantom…

I’m delighted to announce that I’ve sold my version of the timeless story of Christine Daae and Erik the Opera Ghost, to New American Library’s Eclipse Erotica trade paperback line.

My take on The Phantom of the Opera was inspired by Andrew Lloyd Weber’s musical and film, although I drew heavily on the original book by Gaston LeRoux and brought in Philippe, Count de Chagny and Raoul’s brother–a main character that was left out of Weber’s musical.

So for everyone who wanted to know what really happened during the Music of the Night scene, and why Raoul was such a milquetoast, and why Christine left with Raoul when we all knew she should have stayed with the Phantom…you’ll find out when you read my book!

Tentative release date: June 2007

About Me

Colleen Gleason Historical Author

I'm a novelist who writes the historical vampire slayer series, The Gardella Vampire Chronicles. When I'm not working on my next book, I love to read, watch movies, and raise my three kids and husband.

Coming February 5


Watch for the third installment of the Gardella Vampire Chronicles, coming to bookstores everywhere in February!

Now Available!

The second installment of the Gardella Vampire Chronicles takes Victoria to Venice and Rome.
 

The First in the Gardella Vampire Chronicles

My novel, The Rest Falls Away, first in the Gardella Vampire Chronicles, described as "Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Pride & Prejudice"

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