1. The zoo isn’t that exciting in the rain and 40-degree weather.

2. Even if you tell them three times to wear their coats, hats, sweatshirts, mittens, etc., there will still be at least two girls who don’t listen and who will make you, as the adult chaperone, look bad to the adults in the other troops, when they are standing there freezing and looking miserable, thus inducing an adult from a different troop to give them one of her jackets.

3. Separate the girls into buddies or groups in such a manner as to keep your sanity, not by the girls’ configuration.

4. No matter how you separate the girls into buddies or groups, someone will be pouting because they aren’t with who they want.

5. When the other troop leader is a tall, chubby Rick Moranis with a mouth like a bullhorn, don’t expect to see many animals.

6. Nine-year-old girls are equal-opportunity ignorers–they ignore the camp rangers as well as they ignore their troop leaders.

7. Giraffes have really long, black, slimy tongues.

8. Only the young can get a good sleep on concrete thinly covered by indoor/outdoor carpeting.

9. Getting up at 6:45 after the last whispering/giggling girls quieted down after 1:30 am is about as much fun as sleeping on concrete.

10. Even being away from your husband, you won’t miss him, because one of the Girl Scouts will thoughtfully snore exactly like he does–all night long.

Bonus Lessons:

11. Yes, things can be worse than you imagined they’d be when you agreed to go on the camping trip.

12. But you still love your daughter and would do it again if she asked.