July 31, 2006

One of my favorite authors, Elizabeth Peters, wrote a murder mystery set at a romance writers convention. Die For Love is a tongue-in-cheek, hilarious poke at the business with a good, solid mystery behind it. It stars one of her regular heroines, Jacqueline Kirby, a sexy, red-headed librarian who decides to write a romance novel and attends the conference for a write-off.

However, Ms. Peters, who, while she writes some of the absolute most romantic books (and my very very all-time-favorite book), isn’t a romance writer…and she got a few things wrong.

First of all, the book was written in the ’70s, during the time our industry was known for writing those infamous bodice-rippers.

And secondly, ours is a conference, not a convention–the difference being the conference is for those in the industry (writers, agents, editors); while a convention is for the fans of the industry and is open to readers as well. (Romantic Times has a convention every year, and although I haven’t attended, I’m thinking there might be more pink and lace and tulle there. Definitely more cover models.)

Here’s the inside scoop at a romance writers’ conference…

Things you might experience:

• All the ladies’ rooms turned into mens’ rooms. (Check the signage, though, before you blast in, ’cause they usually leave one or two in the hotel for the guys.)
• All the hotel bars filled with imbibing romance writers, agents, and editors from the time they open till the time they close.
• A special table set up in the conference area for attendees to ship home boxes of free books they received at the conference.
• Little to no eye contact on first approach to a new person–instead, everyone is looking at boob-height to see what your badge says (who you are, whether you’re published, if you’ve made your first sale or are a Golden Heart or RITA finalist, etc.)

Things you won’t experience at the conference:

• Lots of women dressed in flowing caftans with boas, glittering jewelry, and/or gloves.
• Lots of pink.
• Bunting, tulle, lace, satin, feathers, etc. No, no, no. Only in the workshop sessions focusing on historical costume, thankyouverymuch.
• Clouds of perfume. (No one wears it, because, can you imagine 2000 women enclosed in small rooms, elevators, bars, and even ballrooms, each wearing a different scent?)
• Fabio, or his successors.

(Damn.)

July 31, 2006

I’m back from the Romance Writers of America National Conference, and boy am I dragging! My voice is hoarse from all the yelling and singing and loud bar-talking, but I am elated. I had a fabulous time, hanging out with some of my dearest friends in the world–and making many new ones.

I never did get a good pic of me in the t-shirt, but I do have one of my daughter before she went off to camp, wearing one, so I’ll post that. Got lots of compliments on the shirts–I actually had four different ones that I wore throughout the conference; all the same design, but printed on a tank top, baby doll Ts, and also on a cap-jersey-sleeved shirt. (Official members of my street team–or, as I call it, my SWAT Team, each get to pick which style they want…)

It was so great to see my Wet Noodle Posse sisters! We only get to hang out once a year, and this was the best so far (despite the fact that many of us were missing). To the right here is a pic of us singing karaoke at Gilbert’s in Atlanta–they were so friendly and accommodating to us and our large party. We’re singing Addicted to Love in this pic (that’s me in my Venator tank top, Esri, Anne Mallory, Stef Feagan, Pris, and Mary Fechter), and decided that should be our theme song. After all, we are romance writers.

(By the way, it’s not that I can sing–any of the Noodlers will tell you that–I just like to get up and pretend I can. And they let me! More than once!)

My new friend Keirin belted out some great songs, too, and also Stacy, who sang The Angry Woman Song (Alanis Morrisette’s You Oughta Know), and we ate and drank and were merry.
On Saturday night, the Noodlers cleaned up on the RITA awards, winning in every category we finaled in except for one. This is me and Stef Feagan, who writes hilarious romantic suspense novels about Pink, a CPA who ends up getting herself involved up to her neck in murder and mayhem–and sexy guys.

Stef won the RITA (which is an Oscar in the romance writers’ world) for her first book Show Her the Money. She won Best First Book and I, who happened to be sitting directly behind Nora Roberts during the ceremony, screamed in her ear, at the top of my lungs, when Stef’s title was announced. You see, it was because of Stef and this particular book that the Noodlers came to be called The Wet Noodle Posse, so when she won, we all felt like we’d won too.

Diane Perkins (writing as Diane Gaston) also won a RITA for The Reputable Rake (yum), and Dianna Love Snell won for her first book Worth Every Risk. I am so happy and proud of my Noodly sisters!

Okay, so now that I’ve spilled on some of the conference stuff…let’s move on to something we were debating about one night at the bar. I’d been reading a gossip column (did I mention I’m addicted?) and the columnist was talking about who women dress for–other women or for men.

In other words, if you’re dressing to go somewhere special–or even not so special–who are you more concerned with dressing for, men or women? Do you pay attention to style, accessories, etc., in order to get women to stop and look and say–”Damn, she looks great!” or would you rather attract the attention of the men? (I think that’s more like dressing to show off your body, as opposed to putting yourself together well.)

One person mentioned that she dressed for women–and if her husband ever gave her a compliment on what she was wearing, she’d turn right back around and change, ’cause she knows he’s a regular guy and has no idea what looks good and what doesn’t.

Hmmm. Maybe that ought to be my rule of thumb too.

July 25, 2006

So I’m off to the Romance Writers of America’s National Conference in Atlanta for the rest of the week. Should be lots of fun–schmoozin’, meetin’, learnin’, noshin’….

This is the one time a year I get to see some of my best friends and get to be surrounded by 1700 people (mostly women) who love to read and write as much as I do. It’s going to be a lot of fun.

I’ll be back on Monday…so while I’m gone, you can tawk amongst yer-selves. Here are a couple of conversation starters for ya…

1. What’s up with Suri Cruise? Why haven’t we seen her?
2. When will Britney dump K-Fed?
3. Is You, Me, & Dupree worth seeing?
4. What did you think of Lady in the Water?

Okay, that’s it. See you when I get back!

July 24, 2006

I’m running today getting ready to leave for the RWA conference, so I’m taking the easy way out…but it’s a good laugh for a Monday.

Found this on my favorite tongue-in-cheek celebrity website, Pug Bus. Looks like we writers have even more competition than we thought!

Courtesy of Postcards from the Pug Bus

Britney Spears to Write Children’s Book [Update]
By Chip Hilton
Jul 21, 2006, 08:14

MALIBU - Despite the demands of motherhood, Britney Spears still intends to finish a children’s book this year; after that she plans to write one. An editor at Hyperion Books for Children in New York confirmed that Ms. Spears book will tell the story of S.P., a baby who acquires magical powers after being dropped on his head by his evil nanny.

Rumors began circulating more than a year ago that Ms. Spears was having pregnant thoughts.

“Britney Learning to Write” screamed the cover of US Weekly over a photo that showed Ms. Spears with a copy of How to Write a Best-Selling Children’s Book under her arm asking directions to the checkout counter in an L.A. Borders.

Ms. Spears denied the story, claiming she had bought the book “for a friend,” but the following week Star magazine printed a picture of Ms. Spears leaving a Staples office supply store with several reams of computer paper. Then Choc, an Italian publication, paid $250,000 for a titillating shot of Ms. Spears sitting on the balcony outside her suite at the posh Le Merigot Hotel in Santa Monica wearing nothing but a laptop computer.

According to Leon Gonzales, Ms. Spears’ recently fired Kabbalah coach, she originally wanted to write her autobiography, “but she was intimidated by vocabulary. Britney’s too much of an artist, though, to have somebody ghost write a book for her. That would be almost as bad as lip synching. So she decided to write a children’s book because she already knows a lot of two-syllable words.”

In other news, former child star Haley Joel Osment, 18, stunned the world when he was involved in an accident while driving an eleven-year-old car.

© Copyright by the author (not Colleen), who wishes you to know this article was made up out of half cloth.

July 22, 2006

I went shopping yesterday (trying to find something to wear with my new shoes for the cocktail party I’m attending on Friday), and everywhere, everything that’s fashionable was chocolate brown.

(Obviously my website and blog fit in perfectly, no?)

Smooth, rich chocolate brown–from sienna to cappuccino to dark chocolate to bronze. I love it all.

It’s a great color for me personally, and a girl can only have so much black without getting too gothy. I like black, but I love this chocolate color.

I was talking to the saleswoman at Parisian (where I found the perfect dress to go with my shoes. Guess what color it is.) and she told me, when I commented, that yes, it’s going to be here for awhile.

I’m delighted. It’s a lot better than that neon green or mustard that was popular a few years ago (I couldn’t wear it), and although I like pink (which is now being shown with the chocolates), it’s not my best color.

And…*drum roll* my Gardella Vampire Chronicles promotional t-shirts are none other than chocolate brown with hot pink printing on them. Can you say stylin’?

As soon as I get them in my hot little hands, I’ll post a pic. If not, those of you at RWA will get a sneak peek, ’cause I’ll be wearing them all over. I’ll be the one in the tee that says “Born Venator” on the front.

And what, you ask, is a Venator? Well, to quote my dear friend Diana, “You’ll have to read the book to find out. ”

Or….buy me a drink in Atlanta. A cosmo or two is bound to loosen my tongue, right, Diana?