Thirteen Things I’m NOT
Thankful for on this
Thanksgiving Day

1. Gravity
(But only when a full package of eggs slips out of the grocery bag as I’m carrying it into the house. Otherwise, gravity’s good.)

2. The person who took my parking place
at the grocery store yesterday
The only other empty spot was at the other end of the lot, way out in the boonies.
And I had lots to buy.

3. Lima beans
Truly. Do they have any taste? No. So why bother?

4. The person who cut me off in traffic and nearly caused an accident
However, I would forgive them if they had a medical emergency and was, perhaps, rushing a laboring woman to the hospital.
Then I’d wish them luck.

5. The man who killed those Amish girls at their school.
I’m still devastated about that.

6. The new Rocky Balboa movie

Give me a break. He’s actually going to fight?

7. Paris Hilton
(I need say no more, do I?)

8. Pouring, blasting, windy thunderstorms
but only when I’m stuck without an umbrella and I’m cold…
otherwise, bring’em on!

9. The way the long strap on my purse accidentally gets caught on the edges of things all too often, causing me to jerk back suddenly, or, worse, bump into something when I’m jerked back suddenly

10. Radical fundamentalists
(is that redundant?)

11. Japanese Beetles
on my raspberries, on my roses, on everything all summer! Ugh!
12. People who don’t have families, or who aren’t close to them

13. Popcorn without real butter on it
(I mean, why bother?)

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving to all of you celebrating it!

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