September 10, 2007
I'm what my friend Tam calls a Planner. With a capital P. So is she.
We're the kind of people that are always thinking about the next step–where we're going to go for lunch, social functions, the logistics of how we're going to juggle kids/work/cars/errands, etc.
When we have a task to do–such as revisions on a book–we plan it out. Not necessarily on paper, but in our minds, in a logical way.
(That's not to say that we're not laid back, or have our moments of laziness or procrastination. That's different than being a Planner. That's just being human. And, absolutely, we do.)
But the person in the group who's the Planner is the one who gets the group to make a decision about, for example, what movie to see or where to go to eat. We're the ones that say, "Okay, let's get going." Or, "If we leave now, we can…." "If we do this, it'll be easier to do that." And gets people to move.
The interesting thing about Tam and me is that although we're both Planners, we're complementary to each other. We think the same way, and thus our "Plans" are always in synch. Frighteningly so. Which is good, because when you get two Planners together who disagree…well, it's not always pretty.
And then there are the Go-With-The-Flow-ers. The ones who let us Planners nudge them along. My Music Man is a GWTFlow-er. For the most part, it's a good partnership. He lets me make the decisions and then follows along happily behind.
(and if you believe that, well, I have this land in Florida….)
(Actually, guys who know me tend to say things like: "Your poor husband–you totally wear the pants in the family, don't you?" and I say, "Absolutely not! We each have one leg in the pants–so it's always a battle, and sometimes they rip.")
I'm not sure why I'm a control freak Planner, nor why the GWTFlow-ers seem to be less interested in making a decision. It could be because they know that we Planners will make sure everything happens.
And I think that we sometimes change roles–which is a good thing. My Music Man is The Planner From Hell when it comes to arranging and directing music, yet for every day things, he eases into a GWTFlow role.
And last Saturday, when Tam and I were at an event where I was speaking, I found myself easing into a GWTFlow mode….probably because I knew she was there too, and listening to the directions for our next step. So I let myself be distracted.
So. Where do you fall? Are you mostly a Planner, or a GWTFlow-er?
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And, because I know Sparky Duck's out there just waiting to start quacking, I'm going to say that, yes, I am completely mortified. M-barrassed, to be exact. If this keeps up, it's going to be a looooong season.
Maybe I should stick with Friday Night Lights (which I've been watching–four eps in–and am hooked).
September 10th, 2007 at 10:38 am
This is interesting because my first response would be to say I’m a “go with the flow-er” — and I do think, for the most part, I am. And yet there is a part of me that wants to direct the action — I get antsy if I’m not at a function, movie, meeting someone for lunch ON TIME. So, in that sense, yes, I am the one will say, well, if we go now…or we need to do this in order to do this…
But in other parts of my life, I’m totally willing to let others lead while I am willing to do whatever work they lay out for me to do — I guess that makes me partially task-oriented, huh?
I was just talking about this (well, sort of) with my hubby — about how the same go-getters and planners seem to always run committees at church or at school all the time. He said, well, that’s because no one else steps up to the plate and I countered with, true, but that was because those people won’t step aside and let other people give it a try without butting in.
Jeez. Was that too far off-topic? I hope it was in the same church, if not the same pew…
September 10th, 2007 at 11:30 am
I’m a plotter, definitely. I like to have the arc all planned out, but that doesn’t mean I’m not open to surprises or changes. I plot enough that I know where I’m going, but the characters provide all kinds of entertainment along the journey.
September 10th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Friday Night Lights will turn out loads better then the Michigan season will. Of course, the Titanic turned out better then Michigan this year, but I digress.
September 10th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I’m such a planner, that I do it professionally. I’m a professional meeting planner. It appeals to my bossy and anal retentive nature. ;o)
My friends always joke that I’m like ‘Julie McCoy, their cruise director.” I love planning stuff and seriously get itchy when things aren’t either well planned or are too GWTF. I can do GWTF if I plan it that way. LOL!
September 10th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
I’m a planner. People say that about me and my dh too - that I wear the pants. The thing is I don’t. We share, just like you. He is a go-with-the-flow-er BUT, if he doesn’t want to go he seems to change the flow and somehow I don’t notice until it’s done.
For things like dinner, movies, people over, I usually start the ball rolling and then everyone hooks up and goes.
September 10th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
I wear both hats and step into the role most needed at the time. I will make the plan and herd the people when it’s obvious no one else is doing it. Although, I GWTF more often than not. I do however write my grocery list in order of where the items are found in the store and I email and call everyone once the plan has been made, even if I did not make the plan. I will never go against a planner if they have a set direction in mind. The sparks that fly are just too energy draining
September 10th, 2007 at 5:53 pm
Totally agree with the post, Colleen. Which is not to say that I can’t be spontaneous…I have it slotted for ten minutes every afternoon between 2 and 2:10!
September 10th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
I have the ultimate battle waging within my brain every day. because I am so equally GWTF and Planner. Most of the time my GWTF attitude actually masks how much of a planner I am. I mean, I own a palm pilot! However, I have to be a planner right now, or my band would be going on tour with no venues worked out! Grr! I guess I’m the “set it and forget it” type. I plan it all out ahead of time, and then just coast through the plan. Which is what a good stage manager does, no?
Oh, and guess who decided to buy UMich season tickets for the first time this year. Yes. That would be ME. wah-wah. So much for a fun senior year of football!
September 11th, 2007 at 8:51 am
Hey Tam and Cols - I see you didn’t comment on the THIRD member of our group . I plan as little as possible. Which is kind of odd, because I’m one of those people who Lynn talks about who tends to be on church comittees and school groups and I’m considered extremely organized at work. I think maybe I plan what absolutely has to be taken care of in advance, and let the rest of life fall as it may.